Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
