Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
