Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
