True but thats because hes a fetus.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
