Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
