ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
