Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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