what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I need mimosas to revive my soul
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
