Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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