I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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