This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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