Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
