Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize