Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
