Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
