ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
