I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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