So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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