If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
