so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
