Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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