whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
