she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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