Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
