I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
