You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
