i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
