Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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