I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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