I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
