You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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