You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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