Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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