he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize