Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize