what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
