I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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