end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
