I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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