you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
