Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
