I got chris browned last night
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
