They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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