everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
