it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
