You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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