she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
did you just send me my own nude
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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