I think my vagina is haunted
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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