Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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