Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
