Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
