oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
