That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
