Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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