Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize