STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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