Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
