I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize