i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
