I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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