If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
