Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
