I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
try to milk me bitch
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