ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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