literally had 100 drinks last night.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
